the fear

Who would have thought I would identify with Lilly Allen?  http://www.myspace.com/lilymusic

But this song is genius.  At first blush it sounds like a shallow 'gimme gimme' ditty:

 "I wanna be rich and I want loads of money.  

I don't care about clever, I don't care about funny'.  

On second listen she's echoing how I feel today:

 "I don't know what's right and what's real anymore, 

And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore.  

And when do you think it'll all become clear?  

'Cuz I'm being taken over by the Fear"

I love every word of this song.  She's nailed the celebrity culture and the notion of becoming famous at any cost.  The video's great too - there's this sense of a woman wise beyond her years but still gawky awkward.

Why am I feeling the Fear?  I don't know.  I guess because work is slow, because I don't have a clear sense of direction right now, because I am  still getting better from the virus, because of Swine flu,  because my friends are losing their jobs, because an acquaintance took his life this week, because things are changing.

I saw Grand Torino this weekend.  Another incredible bit of art.  Bloody and real.  A movie about a tribe of people  - the Hmong - who now live in Ohio because they picked the wrong side in a ridiculous war.  And they're still at war (in the movie) now with their own.  The movie shows an unlikely redemption.  But you believe every minute of it.

What the heck happened to us humans.  In evolving we somehow devolved.   But I'm not giving up - I'm still working on the gratitude.