Pooper Party

Why do people let their dogs poop in public places and not pick it up? Maybe I am over sensitive but in the past few days I've encountered:

- an overtanned fifty-something woman at Clovelly beach with her three large hounds pretending she didn't notice one of them fouling right next to a family who were sunbathing. The dad eventually had to get up and wrap the crap in a sandwich bag

- the camouflage clad, tattooed muscle-mary - who told me to "Fuck Off" when I offered him a doggie bag for the gigantic mound recently dropped by his rottweiler - in Newlands forest

- the hip-happening guy who ignored the yellow slime issuing from his terrified sheepdog, while screaming at him to "COME ON", resulting in the dog laying sloppy bricks all down the path in Rondebosch Park

- the needy-chick at the Liesbeck park (a spot shared by kids and their nannies; drawn to the playground) who is so busy collaring other dog walkers to tell them her domestic problems that she 'just didn't notice' her spaniel soiling right next to her. And who then who huffed indignantly at the mom of a screaming dog-shit daubed 3-year old: "Us dog owners have rights too you know!".

There are signs all over these venues - pick up after your dog. And if you can't read - there are illustrations clarifying the words. Two of the parks even offer dispensers full of doggie bags - and there are dustbins in which to drop the waste.

The City of Cape Town is insisting that we register our pets - and this has made people mad. "Who does the City think it is," they moan: "Big Brother"? And dog owners here complain that we can't walk our dogs on beaches whenever we want. Well I am not surprised. Why should we be allowed carte blanche when a good percentage of us don't know how to behave ourselves?

The city is trying to make it easy for us to do our part. But we are just too bloody lazy to pick up after ourselves. And don't go blaming your dog, hipster - he learned everything he knows from you. You reveal yourself to us all when you leave your shit on our doorsteps.

The 'kommandant" in my nature is advocating a canine CSI ... matching poop to hound. Sentencing owners to community service ... poop scooping, tick picking and cleaning cages in shelters. Plus a website that 'outs' these lazy fools. Where we post a description of the owner and their dogs, perhaps their license plates and picture. And see if the naming and shaming will get the Capetownians to smarten up and fly right.

Otherwise we are going to be reduced to walking on highways.