It wasn't me ...

I would not like to be Sarah, Duchess of York right now. Of all the stupid-ass things to do: this takes the whole packet of biscuits. Plus it's undoubtedly not the first time. If the News of The World (the ULTIMATE oxymoron) went to all the trouble to arrange an elaborate sting - they have to have known that she's done it before.

Now, if she was a Shaggy, she would simply shrug and say "it wasn't me .."

But that defense doesn't fly here. We live in a digital age and there she is, on film. Talking in that clipped, hyper-clear vocal style, that some people use when addressing someone "foreign". And we know, our hearts sinking, that Sarah thinks she's dealing with a real mover and "Sheik-er".

Then there's her body language ... she sits at the table, the $40 000 deposit in front of her, rubbing her tired, drunken eyes and rocking a little. She knows, she knows, she knows ...

She sees the little "Sold" sign pegged into her soul. Only she's in this horrendous, unfathomable debt - the kind that makes you look away from your pride, your common sense, your gut. So, she makes a low rent, mundane, cheap-hotel-suite kind of plan.

And she gets caught. The 11th Commandment: "you lie down with dogs, you get fleas."

I really don't know how a person comes back from this shame: so public, so global. But I am hoping she does. It could be the making of her, the ultimate reinvention. Now there's no pretense, the layers of the aristocrat have been peeled back to reveal a lost, impoverished, undefined woman in her early 50s who made a really shit decision. I don't know who her friends are. But, if she gets some decent, skin-flaying, pragmatic and brutally honest advice. That she elects to heed: the world could be hers. She could come out swinging.

I would like to see that.

Before I go, a word to the News Of the World reporter - Mazher Mahmood. Do not be proud of yourself. Do NOT be proud of yourself. You entrapped a needy woman in order to further your career. If the definition of the word whore is someone who fucks other people for money, tua culpa my brother, tua maxima culpa.