Random thoughts at 60 kilometers

It's true that age is a number. And it's also true that you're only as old as you feel. But I think there's another truth about age - it does show. Not just in lines on your face, but in what you expect of yourself and in what you have achieved.

I was thinking all this as I watched people running past me, a marathon and an half into the Comrades, with 29kms to go. They were exhausted, in pain, almost detached from their bodies - but they were determined to finish. I was in awe of them.

I always tease my friend Karen that she should come to SA and run the Two Oceans and The Comrades. I tell her that it's a good way to meet boys. I paint a picture of her running up mountains and me on a Vespa seconding her and passing her orange segments. Afterwards we go out for cocktails and share stories with other runners. It truly only came home to me standing there last week - just what an incredible achievement it is for a human to run that far.

And then I thought - you know Wildish - what exactly have you achieved?

So, as I am now officially halfway through my life (my dad falls about laughing hysterically when he hears me say this), I thought I would do a quick inventory.

Here's what I found:

- I am close with my family
- I have great friends on many continents
- I am able to love unconditionally
- I do work that matters to me
- I have few regrets - and have learned from the ones I do have
- I won't allow unkindness - even to myself
- I can forgive - myself and others
- I speak my mind
- I am fair
- I know I can be wrong
- I don't expect perfection from myself, but I will always give it a good try
- I love where I live and how I live
- I don't dress inappropriately
- I have a good sense of humour

- I can laugh at myself

- I can recognize happy

- I know a good kisser when I see one

I consider these to be achievements because each of these things has been earned. None bought with money. Each has been a process, none an epiphany. Each has required the help of friends, family, co-workers, lovers and random folks. None have been dictated to me, or forced on me.

I am also lucky. Perhaps that should be at the top of the list. I am lucky.

Another thing I do know is - I can no longer drink four glasses of champagne without my body protesting violently. But, so be it. If that's the only cramp I get at the end of my marathon. I've run a pretty good race.