I would say that over the past 5 years I have become happier than I was in the 10 years prior. Not that I ever asked myself that question back then: I was too busy working, and haring around the world. Of course age has something to do with it - and circumstance, but mostly I would say it is that I have chosen to simplify my life and become generally more aware of myself.
So I was interested when I read a blog by the The Purpose Fairy (!! ... resisting 13), on the Huffington Post. Fairy says there are 15 things we need to let go of in order to be happy. They are: (note: I divided them into sub-categories - because 8)
1. self-defeating self-talk
2. limiting beliefs
3. fears
4. resistance to change
5. the past
6. blame
... all internal stuff/sub-conscious driven
7. the need to be right
8. the need for control
9. complaining
10. excuses
11. labels
... the everyday application of the first 6
12. living your life to others expectations
13. the need to criticise others
14. the need to impress
... the results of the first 6
15. attachment This is in the Buddhist sense. Where their second noble truth says that suffering comes from our being attached to transient things. And from being ignorant that we are attached to them. Transient things include physical objects, ideas, and perceptions. Ignorance refers to our lack of understanding of how our mind is attached.
15. attachment This is in the Buddhist sense. Where their second noble truth says that suffering comes from our being attached to transient things. And from being ignorant that we are attached to them. Transient things include physical objects, ideas, and perceptions. Ignorance refers to our lack of understanding of how our mind is attached.
Buddhists hold that all suffering is caused by desire, passion, the pursuit of wealth and prestige and the striving for fame and popularity. In short: craving and clinging. They believe that because the objects of our attachment are not enduring, their loss is inevitable, and so suffering will always follow.
We just have to read the news everyday to see how that plays out.
I did a little mental check to see where I stand. Turns out I am regularly engaged in sabotaging my happiness in five ways, with a couple others still occasionally in play. Cringe-inducing (because 1+14), but happiness takes work, so I am not beating myself up. If you're in the mood: I'd love to hear where you are with the 15. Just generally, don't feel obliged to give me specifics.
Unless, of course, that will make you happy.
(Full disclosure: In the course of writing this post - a frozen brownie and cup of rooibos tea were consumed ... which made me happy. But only after I'd let go of 8+10+14.)
Let's just say I have gotten better at shedding my fears but the past has a way of clinging to me and me to it - not always bad, memories can be powerful in many ways but, sometimes, it interferes with letting go. Still working hard on Number 8, as you know.
ReplyDelete